Cerebral Palsy

I was at the fastfood area of SM hypermart in Pasig a few hours ago. I was waiting for my husband who was doing the shopping. I wasn't feeling well that time so I opted to just sit it out. Across my table i saw a family of 5 (including the yaya already). The father and the older son were so huge...I mean, really obese. The other son, the handsome one, was of average built. I couldn't take my eyes off him. He's suffering from Cerebral Palsy, and he doesn't have control over his muscles so he was twitching a lot. His hands were like everywhere. It was so so hard for him to hold on to his spoon and moreso to put it in his mouth. I was like in awe of him, because I could see his tremendous effort to eat, inspite of his condition. His yaya was there, from time to time, trying to help him hold on to his fork, but he wouldn't get help from her. He's got this sort of pride and ruthless determination to beat his own illness no matter how much time it would take him. Well, it took him about two hours to finish off his meal and about 30 minutes to successfully put the straw in his mouth and drink off his soda. Now, I also know why the father and son grew that big. Probably, when they eat, either at home or outside, they wait for `handsome one' to finish his meal -no matter how long it will take. I admire him. His parents should be proud of him.

Haitus

Several years back I was then, what most people would always categorize as a workaholic and career-driven woman. Everybody thought that it would be hard for me to find someone to marry... I was just too bossy, too strong, and/or too smart. That was the impression everyone around me were getting. But that wasn't what I was silently shouting out to the world. I was just deep down inside a simple girl with simple dreams. My thought was and is until now, `no amount of success would ever equal to having a loving family of my own'.

Right now, I have a taken a haitus from work. This is my second one in 7 years. This haitus would last for a maximum of 1 year and minimum of 6 months most probably. I call this, recharging of myself. I believe our body are much like machines. If you overuse it, it will die out early. If you maintain it, it will last longer. The same with our brains. If we memorize a lot, it will run out of memory space. I know this idea may sound silly to most people. But, heck, that's what I believe in. I need to recharge. I long for one. I deserve one. I'm being as laid-back as possible or as lazy as I can be and I'm enjoying it. But then, i know it's not fair to everyone I love to be in haitus forever and that everything has to come to an end and so after this haitus, when i am finally charged up once again, i'll work again - driven, stronger and smarter than before.

My Husband Grew Too Big!

My husband (looking disappointed and sad): "Hon, i think i really really really grew fat already."

Me: "Why? What made you say that ?"

(My husband opened up his polo)

My Husband: "Look at my undershirt! It doesn't fit anymore and my belly button's showing already..."

Me (laughing my heart out already): "Honey, that's my shirt you're wearing!"

Foot Fetish

What's with the foot?!

A few years back I went out with this guy I got to know through friendster. Very decent, charming, professional and all that (Hello, T***y! - if you're reading this). We became good friends and dated several times. Afterwhich, i found out he's got a foot fetish!

Look at the photo...that's basically what T***y did to my toes! Ha ha ha. That's what he loves doing! Geez..... Creepy for some, yucky for most, but when you get sucked on your toes, it's a totally different sensation and experience! You feel like a goddess a bit but you feel weird out more. Ha ha ha....

Upon learning about his big secret, I called my close guy friend who goes way back Psych days, E***n.

Him:"You got fuc**d through your toes!"

Me:"Huuuwwhhaaatttt!?!?!?!"

Him:"normal guys get turned on and finish off by you know what, guys with foot fetish get turned on and finish off with the object of their fetishes..."

Me:"Huuuwwhhaaatttt!?!?!?!"

Him:"....I have a fetish as well.....armpit fetish...."

Me:"Huuuwwhhaaatttt!?!?!?!"

My Nephew Moshe

Here are more recent photos of Moshe - my one and only thai-filipino pamangkin. My sis recently bought a new camera that takes multiple shots at one click (awesome!). I'm sure, my sister is still on a "photographer mode" up to now.

Moshe: Say that again, Mr. Green

Mr. Green: Mr Red down there would rather be a tomato!
Mr. Red: Hmp!!!

He seems proud of something...Hmmm....Oh, yeah, he knows he looks cute and perky in his outfit. This is probably his `you won't be able to resist my cute little boy look' mode.
He he he

They say you can't put a square peg in a round hole.
But a cute little boy will do.

PinoyExchange and Showbiz

Lately, my husband and I got interested in checking out forum sites. Hell, if you want to see `freedom of speech' in action, go to forum sites like that of pinoyexchange. Hahaha. Man, some people can be really articulately cruel. And the articulates and sarcastic guys always win and losers usually sort of lose face and either change their usernames or go somewhere else never to set foot again on that forum. It's quite addictive if you have fascination for showbizness or if you are fan of someone. It's like watching E! news, daily top 10 and local showbiz talk shows in one. As for registering and posting our own messages there, well that's not our cup of tea. But who knows, one day, it might interest us to take a more active role in rooting up for our well-loved pamangkin. He he he...

Funny Poopoo Problem

Last time i got constipated was around 1998 and it was pretty easy back then to just take a dulcolax and flush the problem away. A few days ago, it went on again and this time was terrriiiibble....really. I didn't want to take any medicines because i'm really trying to get pregnant and i'm not sure if I'm pregnant. Anyway, it was only a few days ago that i realized that when you don't get to poopoo, you die. It was hard to walk, hard to breathe and basically hard to do pretty much everything! Ha ha ha. You even get splitting headaches - for real! Anyway, after two days and 1 dozen yakult, apple juice, liters of water, and good old fashioned oaks later, i got healed! Wuhoo!!! I was in lala-land when i bid farewell to that poop. Man, it was so black. Flushed and down he went....

Enough with blogging laziness. I have to start writing again to keep my creative juices flowing - er in that direction. Lately, i got focused on sewing and pattern making. I tried to learn via reading articles on the internet. I found out later that you need tools to make great patterns. Hmm... am still mulling over buying these new hobby stuff. I might lost interest once everything is up on my face again.

Loving My Moments Now

It's been over a month since i stopped working and I'm loving every minute of not having to wake up early in the morning, drive for hours and endure the often heavy traffic, think about so many stuff at work, and so much more.

I'm enjoying each moment that i get enough sleep, cook food for my husband, fix our house, shop without thinking about time, and doing the two most recent stuff that are taking so much of my time - Scrapbooking and Blogging. I'm like glued already to my computer. I sometimes even forget to eat (good thing not to breathe). This is what I have always wanted in life and I just wish this can go on forever. I love not having to run against time, to be conscious of everybody around me, to think about fulfilling people's expections of me. I just love this. This moment. Now. I am savoring each moment that I get to converse with life and with people i love. I truly enjoy going 'deep' again in appreciating life, the arts, music, poetry. I love this. I love this life.

I realized just now, that Scrapbooking and Blogging are similar in the fact that both document my life and leave a trace of all my memories. Could it be, then, that subconciously, I am aware that my time is about to end soon? Or that I'm about to have alzeimer disease soon? Ha-ha-ha...I hope that's not the case... I still have lots to do, lots to learn, and lots of wants...

Reminiscing the Artist In Me

I have a natural inclination for the Arts. Unfortunately, it has been years - really long years, since i last held a paintbrush, charcoal, pencil or paints. I can see rust forming on my fingers already! The only artsy stuff i have now is my 64 pcs. crayola set, which i use to color my kiddish coloring book.

The Artists Group Of Subic (AGOS)

However, i still find it amusing to reminisce on the year 2001. The Year when i left Manila and stayed at Subic/SBMA. The year i just stopped working and just became an "artist" (many thanks to sister and mom for their moral and financial support...he he he). The year when we formed AGOS (Artists Group of Subic).

It was there that i got to paint and exhibited some of my works (together with the whole AGOS group). Of course, amateur level. But let me share some of my works with you...

Here are some of them:

My Version of Calla Lilies

My Nude Artworks. Patterned after Lucian Freud

My Lady at the Grapevine

And here are some of my nude rough sketches...

Ahh.... it has been a long time. I'm not sure when i'll get the "Artist Itch" again. As of the moment, i'm not too keen on painting or drawing again. I'm sure, though, sometime in the future, i'll start drawing and painting again. Unknown to many, Painting is an expensive hobby. You gotta have the right and expensive tools to paint well.

Happy Birthday to My Great Sister!!!

Happy Birthday To My Great Sis, Sheila!

My sister is the kindest among us, siblings. She has such a kind and thoughtful heart. Naks! In fact, she has given me so many shoes and clothes already! Thanks, thanks, thanks!!!

Inside scoop:

• She was a chubby (and clumsy) during her early years but has grown very lovely and slim now. (he he he)
• She's very discplined (aside from being really intelligent/smart, huh). Strictly gets her beauty sleep at at 9-10pm!

We love you sis and hope to see you and the gremlins soon!

Life Is a Series of Small Journeys

Life is a series of small journeys. Each journey ends when you’ve done or have learned enough already. Whenever one journey ends, we sometimes feel hurt and angry because normally, we don’t want to let go – of people we’ve grown to love and the situation we’ve been accustomed to. For whatever it is worth, we must learn to let go or we’ll forever be living our lives with fear and resentment. Let go of the people who left us or won’t love us back. Let go of the things that we wanted and but couldn’t have. Let go of the anger, hate, fear and insecurities… Just let go…

Let us teach ourselves to learn to choose how to react in each situation. For every situation, we have three choices: 1) feel good about it, 2) feel bad about it or 3) be indifferent about it. Choosing to feel good about it or trying hard to see what good lies beneath the situation makes things easier to accept and makes life easier to live. Choosing to feel bad only worsens the situation and makes us feel like we’re being treated like shit the more, which is a totally unpleasant feeling and choosing to be indifferent sometimes help us not become jaded or affected at all. But you tend to lose one important thing why you are a human being – to feel. And that can be dangerous… Criminals are usually indifferent about their victims, about their morbid acts, and sometimes even about their lives.

When we can’t find the strength to move on, let’s find a hard wall and bang our heads into that wall (J), and tell ourselves, “For sure, this is not new anymore. At some time someone, somewhere have experienced this already. I am not alone”. In fact, so many people have experienced the same thing. Some of them died already, some are still living, and some are living but looks dead anyway! Choose to live. Begin again. Continue with our lives. We are only as strong and as weak as we think we are. Therefore, think that we are strong. No one is holding our nose and mouth shut, hence say "I can still breathe, hence I can still do something” or better yet, “I think, therefore I am” Ha ha ha….

I’ve recently had one journey ended. What a journey it has been.

On The Book, 'Phra Farang'

I had just finished reading the book "Phra Farang" by Phra Peter Pannapadipo. He used to be a successful English man who decided to rid himself of all his material wealth and became a monk in Thailand. I thought it would be boring, but later found myself not able to put it down. It made me laugh and gave me a fascinating view of Buddhist practices.

Here's one excerpt from the book that i like the most:

Before breakfast, the monks chant for about half an hour and then, after eating, chant a short Pali verse about the impermanent nature of life. The verse translates as: 'Alas, transient are all compounded things. Having arisen, they cease. Being born, they die. The cessation of all compounding is true happiness.' That might sound a little bit odd but in fact it contains the essence of the Buddha's teachings: that there is no phenomenon which has any permanence, that all things must end and clinging or attaching to impermanent phenomena must eventually bring suffering of one kind or another.

Very much true but not that easy to live by specially when such impermanent phenomena refers to one of your loved ones.

I’ve been through so many difficult and challenging situations before. Over the years, I have learned to process things and turn them to something that I would eventually love or savor. In fact, I somehow now believe that bad times/days are actually opportunities and lucks “in disguise”. I also have this notion that Life is really good on me. That whenever I am in a situation where I can’t get out of easily and/or someone ridiculously hates me, Life seems to naturally sort things out for me. Things just happen to my benefit. Because of this, I actually don’t see the need for me to harbor ill feelings towards anybody because deep in my mind, I know the Life will handle that person or situation eventually. I don’t have sleepless nights or seething days. I get bothered at first, of course but the icky feeling doesn’t stay long on me. I always just go on. I don’t care; I just know something that’s supposed to happen does happen. Things happen the way they are meant to.

MY QUEST FOR THE RIGHT FACIAL CLEANSER


I have a really terrible vice or weakness. I must admit that this is something that I’m not too proud of but hey, if some girls collect shoes, dresses or bags, mine are cleansers and toiletries. These are my weaknesses. I can go for years without buying clothes or shoes, but I can’t last a month without buying toiletries. It’s a bit abnormal already.

When I was still single, I’d have around 9 combined soaps and cleansers ‘online’ in my bathroom. Now, that I’m married, I have 8 soaps (Seikisho, Belo, Sandalwood, Aveeno, Safeguard, Irishspring, Glutathione and Green Papaya) and 4 cleansers (Cethaphil, Clarins, Kiehls, Neutrogena) ‘online’!

One of my fantasies is to spend 100,000.00 pesos in duty free store and buy toiletries. And I’m sure, it’s still not enough for everything that I might want to buy! If not for this weakness, I could really be a low maintenance girl. Here's why... I get my shoes and sandals from my great sister. I just have 13 shoes/sandals and half of this (mostly Naturalizer and HeelCare) were from my sisters. The rest are cheap priced shoes – from 300 - 1,200 price range. My clothes – well, my sister almost puked on my pitiful wardrobe and decided to leave all her vacation clothes to me last February. If not for my sister, I wouldn’t have any nice casual clothes because I don’t really enjoy shopping for clothes and shoes - and that’s for real.


5 CLEANSERS IN 3 MONTHS !

I have always been a fan of CETAPHIL. I use this from time to time when my face gets dry and red. Can’t live without it. It's quite cheap also. Sells for P70-P250 - depends on the size.

Last December, my husband treated to a lite shopping spree at Duty Free and I bought CLARINS GEL NETTOYANT PURIFIANT (around US$15) among other toiletries (woohooo!!!). It is a great cleanser. It also has a very loveable light scent – smells sophisticated. It doesn’t irritate the skin but it doesn’t prevent acne as well. Good for morning use.

January, I started going to Belo med for facials and cleanings. I also bought their Acne-Free Set which includes the GLYCOLIC SOAP. It’s quite strong -Peels the skin; Makes it red; Makes the skin dry. It’s good to use when my face gets really oily. But it’s not for daily use.

I saw this SEIKISHO MEDICATED SOAP in Hongkong last February. It was selling for HK$ 129.00 at some Watsons and Bonjour stores but thought thrice about buying it because it was quite pricey for its size, until I finally decided to buy one but we were already at the airport by then and it wasn’t even available at the airport. Then I saw the Kiehl’s Booth and ended up buying instead the KIEHL’S RARE EARTH OATMEAL MILK FACIAL CLEANSER#1. I couldn’t recall the exact price anymore but it was somewhere between HK$ 139 to 190. In Philippine Peso it was around 900 – 1,500.00. But since my mind was set already on buying the SEIKISHO, upon arriving in Manila, I went to Rustans (luckily I found it there) I bought it for approximately P795 (without the case, around P900 if with case). Combining these cleansers and soap (Kiehl’s first followed by Seikisho) is by far the best for my sensitive and oily skin. They are both excellent and really make a difference on the skin. It somehow makes the skin healthier, tighter and whiter. You’ll notice the difference on the first use.

Right now, i'm quite satisfied with Kiehl's and Seikisho. These two might have already ended my insane quest for the right facial cleansers.

The Last Day...

If today were the last of all days,
would it change how you feel, who you are?
Would you rise for a moment above all your fears?
Become one with the moon and the stars?
Would you like what you see looking down?
Did you give everything that you could?
Have you done everything that you wanted to do?
Is there still so much more that you would?
Follow your dream to the end of the rainbow.
Way beyond one pot of gold.
Open your eyes to the colors around you
and find the true beauty life holds.
Would you live for the moment
like when you were young?
Time didn’t travel so fast.
Be free in the present?
Enjoying the now?
Not tied to a future or past.
You would probably say all you wanted to say
but doesn’t it strike you as strange
that we’d only begin to start living our lives,
if today were the last of all days?

10 YEARS AFTER...A REUNION

I took up Industrial Psychology at De La Salle University for three (3) years and graduated in 1995. 10 years after, I just had this longing to see my blockmates once again... and so we held a reunion last friday (Feb 4) at Masas, Greenbelt 2. It was a success! Though, a more quiet place would have made it more than perfect! I was quite dismayed though to see the pics...i didn't know until then, that i had become chubby na -- or my face had become chubby! Ha ha ha...Still cute but chubby just the same....Oh my, the effects of aging! (ding!!!!!!!!!!!!! not really....the effects of eating too much at night!!!!!) Well, almost everyone i know came; our batch clown, Dennis, who hasn't changed a bit...he's still funny and comical as he used to be; Shawie, who had become prettier and slimmer; Ingrid and Othella...well they haven't changed a bit; Jhouanna...a bit heavier but still has the same beautiful smile; Allah...who had become a bit slimmer; Cindy...who had blossomed into a fine lady; Fepot...who came with her hubby, eldest child and 2 more relatives; Erwin, our batchmate turned model of Mang Tomas, who had maintained his feet leveled on the ground; Marshall, still sociable and cool (he came with his preggy wife); our three professors: Jeoffre, Javier and Louie came also; Lolay dropped by as well, but she didn't stay longer than needed.

Many people would often say "coño mga lasalista!" Well, i didn't see a trace of that that night. I am proud of the fact that all of us have this "masa" heart. In fact, before we ended the night (or the morning), we came up with rough plans of having a worthwhile activity. We're thinking of doing community work for cancer-stricken children or providing free career talk/workshop for jobless people. Whichever will push through, i will definitely support it!

Well, it was a great reunion...i hope we'll have more in the months to come!

ON BEING A MAN

I think it is part of our responsibility, as social human beings, to take care of other people. At least love or care for two people in your lifetime (other than your relatives)…to extend a helping hand or just make them feel that the world is indeed a great place to live in. There shouldn’t be, even just one person on this earth, who will breathe his last breath without even knowing what love, friendship or just being “human” feels.

Let's not turn a blind eye to someone who looks at us with desperation in his eyes...never close our fists and not share when we know opening them a bit won't even kill us ...never not express love and kindness when we really want to. For in the end, it is by how many lives or hearts that we have touched that really makes us more human.